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Expectations

Peace begins when expectations ends. Sri Chinmoy
I was talking to my mother the other day; it had been about 4 days since she got her new hearing aid.
“How is it going?” I asked her
“I’m not sure I hear as well as I expected” was her response
My mother was discouraged as she had expected a much bigger improvement in her hearing.
I pointed out to her that I could not hear the radio in the background, where normally it would be blaring. She agreed and told me the volume of her TV was much lower as well.
“Hmmm” was my response, “what else” I whispered.
“ don’t know” she responded
“Oh you hear that, without a hearing aid, I would have had to repeat myself. So that is an improvement.”
The conversation went on like that for about 20 minutes, my mother pointing out ways in which her new way of hearing was not as she expected, and me pointing out what I was seeing.
My mother had such high expectations; she wasn’t able to see the small changes and improvements that were right in front of her. She was discouraged.
Sometimes miracles are small, and if we don’t open our eyes wide we will miss them.
My mother couldn’t see what was so obvious to me. She needed someone to point out what they could see and she could not.
That she could hear.
Got me thinking about my life. Where am I limited by my expectations and limiting beliefs, so I cannot see what is right in front of me?
As a wife, a mother, yoga teacher, student, athlete?
How often do I say to myself…..
I am not a good enough mother/wife
I am not a strong enough teacher
I am not a strong enough student
I am not a strong enough athlete
I am not smart enough
And the list goes on.
Never enough.
Enough for whom? Who set these invisible standards by which I measure and judge myself?
Once in a while, someone will point out what they see:
A loving wife/mother
A powerful and inspiring teacher
A dedicated student
A powerful athlete
A creative thinker
Why is it that we (I) need someone else to point this out, to validate me? Why can’t I see these things in myself, accepting myself for who/what I am and who/what I am not?
Happy with where I am… Who I am
Letting go of expectations
What is possible then? Peace, joy, happiness and acceptance
And in the case of my mother, discovery. Everyday something new – a new sound, a new voice or song.
This is the work… My work. Starting right now.

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